Wrasslin’ State of Mined: What’s Old Is New Again on RAW and Smackdown (01.04.2016)

Champagne for My Real Friends

Heeeey, we’re back! Yes, i’m using the royal we, since we’re all in this together people. How was your New Year, good I hope. The wrasslin’ world left 2016 strong and came into 2017 swinging  like a toddler with nunchucks. As did Lucha Underground and New Japan with Wrestle Kingdom 11. If you’re a fan of dramatic fisticuffs, then this is still a wonderful time to be alive. But let’s get things started with the big story, and that’s the end of a triumphant championship reign by on Mike “Miz” Mizanin. 

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Me when Popeye’s runs out of spicy.

Yes, The Miz dropped his IC Title to Dean Ambrose during the first Smackdown Live of the new year. A move I dare say, not many people saw coming. Miz has been at the top of his game both on the mic, and in the ring. Taking the title off of him now is a strange move, but a move that creates intrigue. A move that allows pieces to be shuffled a bit after the last few months of WWE programming had been stuck in a holding pattern of breaking records or keeping feuds going just a shade too long. With the rosters split, both brands could have gone one of two ways; ruffling the mid-card enough the new stars and stories were made, or hold fast where they were, they somehow did a bit of both. Early on, new blood was forced into the veins of the shows, only for them to rest on laurels a bit after some key injuries threw things off track.

Miz has been an MVP candidate, and likely the top guy on the brand if it weren’t for the stellar year AJ Styles pulled off. Giving him something to fight for, and even adding a legitimate claim that “the whole world is against me”, is actually pretty smart. Heels work best when they feel justified in their actions. It’s why Zigglers heel turn (we’ll get there) should really reinvigorate his career. So Dean is the champ, and now the guy who already had a gripe against the system can look around and see nothing but enemies where he once saw peons. Yeah, this should get good fast.

Real Pain For My Sham Friends

Every man has there breaking point, and Dolph Ziggler hit his sometime Tuesday night. After taking yet another loss, Dolph Superkicked poor Kalisto into confetti signifying his return to the heel side of life after a long absence. He may have been cheered, mostly due to the appreciation of his work and not so much for his actual character, but Dolph has always been a bad guy. Always.

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The “show off” can’t be a hero for the same reason Johnny couldn’t be the Karate Kid, the clothes just don’t fit. Humility is those that want you to know how hard they worked. Dolph is, and always was the guy that’d rather show how good he is, at the expense of the actual victory. Which is why his face turn never took. They never let him get the big wins. Eventually, you gotta let a guy win the big one, or else snaps. Kinda like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. Minus the racism and xenophobia of course. Then again, Dolph did attack a Mexican and a Black guy during his little tantrum. So maybe there’s more of a connection than I thought.

The Enemy of My Enemy…

Yes, wrasslin’ has been described as “personal disputes settled in the ring”, but that usually turned out to be “big ass dudes running into one another”. Yes, the big man days are behind us in a way, but Vince’s wildest wet dream, aside from an endless array of people to push into pools, is watching beastly men flap around the squared circle. Which is why I imagine his erection during this segment could have been seen from space.

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Baby do you want to love me sexaaaay

Brisket Stongdude didn’t look all bad though, since he was able to once , and likely for all, put Sami Zayn down. The underdog from the underground barely survived their last man standing match. Going through tables, walls, and taking a hell of a running power-slam on the arena floor. Sick stuff, that I may or may not have watched several times. Don’t judge, everyone’s got their something.

So Brauny boy is kind of a big dog on the block, but they’ve got to make him look even stronger, somehow, which likely means he’ll take down someone of about equal size to make a point. He’ll also likely win the Royal Rumble because why the hell not. He may not be ready, but if his match with whoever the champ happens to be is turned into a triple threat OR if he can challenge whoever he wants, I don’t see why a Strowman/Cena match can’t close the show. And yes, I think Cena wins out against AJ because he’s finally going FULL Cena.

True Colors

Cena knows he’s “Dat Dude”. He’s said as much himself over the course of his career, but now, as a legit elder statesmen, he’s begun to flex his muscle over the new class and the decision makers. Why, because he can. And that’s what makes this slight character adjustment into the biggest heel turn we could ever hope for, without it being an outright switch. He’ll still sell the shirts, and have the kids, but that doesn’t change that he’s getting rewarded for past services. As a Lakers fan who watched Kobe’s last seasons, I can both understand and absolutely hate it. Damn that’s good wrasslin’ right there.

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Alright, that’s all I got for now. I’d get into Kevin Owens’ show and his standing feuds, but he’s still in a bit of a holding pattern until anyone else on RAW can figure out what their damn allegiances are and be a legit threat to him. Right now, the two headed monster of he and Jericho is too much of a crowd pleaser to dismantle, as much as they tease it. Oh, and watch Lucha Underground, i’m sick of having to remind you. A guy got magic gauntlets last week and there’s a damn lizard man running around.

Okay, if I missed anything, hit me up on the Twittah Machine, and let me know what my first meal should be in my new crock pot. Till then…

Deuces Kiddos

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